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I completely relate to all you've written; many of us have come to see Mormonism for what it is, and the severe damage it does to human brains. You don't have to believe them yourself, but you need that respect in thought as well as action, and you need to frame this as your own journey because you can only change yourself. You know what the official line of the church is, and what bishops and stake presidents are likely to say. I let her know it's not healthy to expect someone else to change - we can only control ourselves and not others.